Today I am sharing an inspirational, heart touching story written by one of my patient about his journey after being diagnosed HIV infected. He is now a happy and successful professional working with a multinational company on a very senior position.
From: Why me | It can’t be | What’ve I done | Pressure | Hidden secret | Inner-conflicts | Mistrust | A broken self…
Through: All will be ok | It’s normal | Acceptance | Re-building of purposes
To: A motivating | Encouraging self
Indeed, I truly had a journey so far. I am not going to reflect what I felt (in the past). We know how that place feels in the beginning. I will rather focus on those feelings and decisions that helped me to redefine my horizon.
I started by forgiving myself and I took refuge in Geeta, music, and all possibilities that brought positive talks and thoughts. In my case, I was privileged enough that my siblings stood by me. It was my part of karma. It however doesn’t mean that I was not under the scanner of their questions. It wasn’t easy but in the end, true love wins.
I never regret even a second when I finally decided to start my treatment when I was just a kid and was in my early 20‘s (to mention I lived in denial for 2 years while my doctor tried to convince me- here I would say I went to a lot of pain, a child’s innocent mind but with a heavy price).
Anyhow, I have this thing that if I step out I will surrender my faith to my doctor. This was the power of my love in faith. I found a teacher, a mentor, a friend, and a guardian. For him I became his very own son, it was quite a beautiful journey of duty in emotions, honesty in love, care in silence.
I have dreams and for this, I followed the treatment and tests religiously. It was my duty and a gift for myself. The first battle won after years of patience.
The next battle was quite a challenge as it was not about me. This time I had to defeat the ”mindset”. What are the most difficult things? To find someone who won’t judge you, someone who behaves normally when I say I am positive, wish to have a partner without having my self-doubts, a tolerant society and above all a confident feeling.
What I hated all these years is to have this masked life where at times I felt- I am not playing this game anymore. I feel that I am cheating myself by identifying with different personalities. I wished simple things, a proud feeling that I am undetectable and is cool about it.
It’s been 7 years so far but I would say the battle is still on-going but what is progressive is my constant will.
What changed is that I have traveled half the world, I am right not laying on my bed in Europe, I found a soul-mate, I found friends who are like me or who wish to be like me, I now have a small family, I have people around me who are educated enough. My achievement is that I managed to bring a positive change in the lives of many people, with love. I realized that the world needs compassion and I have a lot in me to offer as well..!
I am resting my words and leave it here for you to have your own perception. I trust your decisions as I trusted my intent and my contribution for my doctor’s dream to build a healthy change through me, in you!
My part is done …
“in this moment, an opportunity”
Om !
